Self Care: Let’s get started.
*Disclaimer. This blog is for educational purposes, please check with your healthcare provider before making changes in your diet or before starting an exercise plan.
I have never been good at self care, is that very obvious. But why? Why have I never “caught onto self care”? Because I am a mom? Because I am a Wife? Because I am a Full time employee and a Business Owner? Because I have no money? How about all of the above?
Fair.
What If I told you that Self Care as the media and influencers have been presenting it is not the only form of self care?
Come again?
Yes, the art of self care actually goes back years before the influencers have taken a hold of it and said it’s all face masks and matcha lattes. Self care when googled has origins that range from the bible to the black power movement of the 1960s to health care professionals of the 1950s and even the form I think of from the Danish word Hygge which originated in the 1800s. Which is a Cozy, Warm and Embrace Joy in a well rounded way leading to self care. There are many forms of self care even in Asia where there is a sense of Ikagi, or community and belonging that helps one live a fuller, happier life. Many centenarians practice this as well as small steps within, which bringing it back around to forms mentioned above, is all a part of the bigger picture of the word self care.
But today I want to talk about how to do self care in this economy and society, especially if you are like me, a very busy person with little to no spare money after bills.
If you're like me, you have looked at self care and thought to yourself, “how can someone do that?” when all we are fed are images of spa days and healthy niche restaurants.
Me after simple self care.
Simple self care is something that I don’t have to leave my house for, in this image I was fresh face after a face mask and applying my facial moisturizer.
10/10 Will do much more, especially when I have the products at home.
So in our last blog we touched the surface of self care being a part of health spending, also is it what we think it should be.
What is self care and why is it important? Why do I care about it? Why am I telling you about it?
Let me start by saying, self care isn't what you think. You don't need to spend a ton of money getting facials and doing your nails, self care is something as little as Journaling in the first hour of your day and limiting screen time when you first wake up and the hour or two before you go to sleep.
Here are 10 ways to do self care with little to no money.
Read a book.
Get Comfy.
Spend a little extra time during your shower on yourself.
Meditation.
Exercise.
Grounding.
Make a meal or dessert you enjoy
Listen to your favorite music.
Self massage or chair massage.
Eat organic and Hydrate.
Reading.
Looking at this list above you may see things you're already doing. If, like me, you spent a lot of time in secondary school you may think “reading isn't enjoyable to me” but all you read are dry school texts. That's not reading for enjoyment, try finding a book or even an audio book that you truly are interested in. Reread a series you loved once, go back and find joy again in reading some Goosebumps or Harry potter or even Twilight and The Shining. Or it could be you want to know more about self care, YouTube has a full library of audio books as well as your local public library. The Libby app also lets you Link your library card to their service to give you an extended database of audio books and e-books. Listing to a book totally counts in your “books read” 📚 pile. Try making yourself a reading journal and give a small book review for each title you listen to or even leave a review on the app Good Reads. There are so many possibilities.
Get comfortable.
Or get comfy is a part of Hygge culture, wearing a nice pair of pajamas while sipping a good cup of tea is something very simple but very rewarding. I recently started reading for fun (as part of my first point) in my self care because my ideal self makes time to read about the things I'm interested In. I recently wore my softest pajamas and had my nice warm right out of the dryer fuzzy blanket ☺ ️ paired with my book and tea. I also was sitting with my oldest daughter and we were enjoying a video from a creator we both enjoy. Simple, I took in what I was reading and showed my daughter that even though small, I was content in the self care I was doing at that moment. All was well.
Spending extra time on your shower routine.
I know what you're saying if you know me, “Mercedes wasting water isn't Amazing!” I know, most days I spend about 5 minutes in the shower. I only do my hair once a week sometimes twice weekly in the summer depending on how icky my hair gets but I have medicated shampoo I need to use at least once a week and it's expensive so once a week it is. I have to let my shampoo sit in my hair for at least 5 minutes so that is when I have been maximizing my time. I use the time in the shower to visualize the water as pure energy washing all the negative away from the week. I imagine it like a glittering substance coming from the universe. I tell myself things that I want to let go of like negative self talk or anything but believing in myself. I get rid of all the trapped energy in each stage of my shower routine.
I once heard of our hair being our veil that it protects us from harm, this includes all negativity that may seek to do us harm. Hair has been proven to store trauma which is why after a break up or a major health issue people tend to cut their hair off. Not just a physical weight being lifted but a spiritual weight being lifted too. When I wash my hair I reset my hair, by washing away all that it has blocked and resetting to block from negativity coming my way. I make sure I visualize it going down the drain too, not just pooled at my feet. This goes for my face, body, teeth and more of my self care steps. Each step I have corresponding “spells” for, when I brush my teeth I make sure I don't put negativity out with my words. When I wash my face I tell myself that I have a trustworthy attitude and even a business woman face. I want to be that genuine person in others' lives and sometimes I feel like my genuine nature is put on or others may see it as a ruse so this practice has helped me be the best version of myself in all I do. This is a Bonus if you are exploring your spirituality, these small things have become part of my daily practice and even helped elevate my practice in ways.
Meditation.
Ok, this is a gimme because I feel like whenever we talk about self care, especially free forms, meditation always comes up. My favorite channel for meditation on YouTube is Great Meditations and they also have a 5 minute meditation channel.
Once you can meditate (there really is no right or wrong way, my mind always wonders but that's the joy of being neurodivergent) it feels so good. Starting your day or ending it with meditation helps put you into a zone of understanding and healing. It could be 5 minutes when you start your day off right or it could be 5 minutes before bed to turn off those last minute thoughts.
Exercise.
Again, this one has been passed around. I for one know all too well that exercise is good for you but not if it hurts you. I am a firm believer of modifications for things you cannot do, you can't run because you don't have doctor clearance, that's fine, just walk. Maybe grab a hand weight and do a walk around the short end of your block. You want to strength train but don't have the expensive equipment. That's also fine, how much does your water bottle weigh when it’s filled up? Did you know a 5 gallon jug of water when filled weighs 40-45 pounds. That's a lot. You could choose to lift that from a coffee table 5 times or something more simple like using 1 gallon bottle which is 8.34 pounds to do biceps curls. There are also no weights HITT workouts on YouTube. I have been trying to do this Encanto themed one as a home workout, it's 4 songs long. Songs. Yes! Dancing counts as exercise, as long as you get the blood pumping through your exercising. Soft flow yoga also counts as exercise because of movement.
Free Workout Equipment
Did you know that public parks have free workout equipment? Many parks in Phoenix, Arizona just got an upgrade and many have some simple equipment you can do very easy circuits. I have started using the playground set not only playing with my kids but also working on strength and balance. Also taking advantage of the sidewalks near the playground to do short jog/walk while still watching my kids.
Grounding.
Ok this one you need to trust me on, have you heard of Grounding? It's where you go outside to a piece of earth, not cement or pavement, and sit or stand on the ground, put your hands into or onto the earth. And just be. Grounding was considered pseudoscience until a few years ago and really it depends on who you ask now. There are a few great documentaries online including YouTube that are very informative. I recommend starting with the Earthing Movie as it gives you a good base and it has the guy who wrote the book (literally) in it speaking extensively about the book and his research along with others who have benefited from grounding. Give it a go next time you go to the park, or if you have just the smallest strip of ground in your apartment complex (I used to have a tree right outside my bedroom window at one apartment we had and I would sometimes go out and sit down right on it).
Even while I'm writing this I have been sick for the better part Of 3 weeks, I am currently at our local park with my kids with binaural beats for migraine relief playing. The sun is washing over me and I am at one with the earth. Even though the sun hurts the migraine it feels so much better than just sitting inside hiding my face in my soft blanket. Plus my kids are getting out there wiggling. Did I mention how great grounding is for kids too? I notice a difference between the days my kids go outside or to the park rather than stay inside with screens on. The days where there inside they can't calm down, they're always on go and winding down for bedtime is hard. The days we go out, they get to touch the ground and play without limits under the beautiful sun are the days they go right to sleep. My youngest has even passed out on her floor a time or two these days, don’t worry mom picks her up and gets her into her bed.
No need for anywhere fancy.
You can ground at the park or even in your yard, this space is right beside my garden bed in my garden area. It’s a space that I have taken time to take the weeds out of and there are no pokey plants in this space. It is also a safe space that I feel comfortable in. If you go to the park make sure to bring someone with you, especially if you want to close your eyes at any point in time to meditate.
Make a meal or dessert you enjoy.
You may be thinking that this can't be self care but it is definitely self care. Think, if you're like me you cater to others, and sometimes forget you have your own personalities and tastes. Just because your kid doesn't like something, doesn't mean you have to let go of it forever. It could be a specific flavor or something from your childhood that others simply don't get, but you have a soft spot in your heart for it, just make it. I was just telling someone in my household I would love a piece of Dulce De Leche Cake for my birthday, and they immediately went “I don't like that!” well it's not for them, I plan on going to the store and getting me a single piece of this cake. It's been years since I had a piece, and even when I recently (within the last two years) ordered a piece at a restaurant I got the looks of disgust, that's kept me away from enjoying this. My husband loves German Chocolate Cake and I recently told him to get some, he also hasn't enjoyed it since I have an allergy to coconut. But that shouldn't stop him from enjoying it. So he got a cake for his birthday and it didn't bother me because I knew he was happy with his choice. It doesn't matter on the big scale if we get it or not, but it does make us feel a little better when it's been forever.
Listen to music you like.
I shocked my kids the other day because I was playing a very heavy song, as in Heavy Metal. They were shocked that mom listened to this music that was mostly screaming. That's because my music isn't everyone's music, I have been listening to Mrs. Rachel for the last two years. So, it was time to listen to some of my music. That actually started me back off on listening to the music I want to listen too, we did an EMO Alternative Rock Zumba as a group with songs I enjoyed. Then we did some Danny Go! Dances and even some Just Dance Party Mix this moment was all over the place but it was fun for all of us and it got us all to smile. Self care is always accomplished in my book when you feel good afterwards, not feeling guilty it was done.
Self Massage or Chair Massage.
I know I said we didn't want to spend money but there are many ways to do this step for little to no money. Again, we can look at YouTube and find some great tutorials on how to do a small self massage. We can also spend $5 and sit in one of those massage chairs at the mall (or go to American Furniture Warehouse and demo the chairs lol) if your in a mall there may be a “complimentary chair massage” in that case you can also spend $5 as a tip to the person who can help target a spot of need, you may also get a discount for a full massage. Don't count out massage schools as well, the school I went to has a massage program and they always post deals on their Instagram for both student and graduate massages. They also do it for their esthetician schools and facials. Just look around your area to see what is available.
Eat Organic and Hydrate.
This one isn't free but it's good for us so that is why I included it. Like we mentioned in the above point of Make a Meal or Dessert you enjoy, food nourishes us overall. We can't live without food, yes that greasy pack of fries along with that burger that is smothered and covered with all that cheese and onion toppers is delicious but it's not amazing for us overall. Once in a while it is just fine, like we mentioned in the above point. If we can though, eating S.O.U.L. Food is the way to go and if you can grow any yourself like on a patio garden with some tomatoes or something else that's the way to go being closer to you and your kitchen. And as always, hydrating is very important. I have been upping my water consumption because I have been sick lately. In doing that I feel much more clear mentally and physically. I have definitely gone down in water as the weather has gotten colder, because I forget it doesn't matter how cold it is. We are still dehydrating every day and need to replenish it. I have a 24 oz water cup and I want to make sure I drink at least two of them a day. I have started to add it back into my bullet journal with a signifier on my habits and self care board as a 1 and 2. 1 for of course one cup and 2 for the second cup and since I know it's my cup I know how much water that is in a day, I can go over that number in my log too I haven't capped myself but I set the bar low to start.
My Habits and Self Care Log in my December 2024 Bullet Journal. That Mom Mercedes on YouTube.
These points are, I hope, very easy to get behind, these are in my eyes some good gateway self care habits. It also allows us to do habit stacking, for instance, we can take the three above habits; read, get comfy and listen to your favorite music and combine those at the end of the day after we have done the things we need to do in the day. We can sit down on our favorite chair with our favorite blanket, very Hygge style, and set the mood with low but bright enough light to read and set a playlist on the tv or just playing via a speaker near us. Don't make the music high so that it bothers you or interrupts your reading. I don't like reading the same paragraph dozens of times unless I need to. But this type of environment is low distraction and it helps me read my chapter, at the end of the chapter I will be happier for it and maybe even that much more ready to just fall asleep.
So be the influencer of your dreams, if you don’t use this list use a list of your own making and think of the type of things you like to do for self care. You can go low price and free like I have or you can indulge where you can, I’ll never forget the time my doctor told me to go get pedicures because it's something good for me and my overall wellbeing. You can use this list for the first try if you would like and I have open comments on this post so I'd love to hear about what you added or what your list is. This is just my list and it’s some things that have led me to trying more and doing more. Taking a walk with my kids is on my master list because that is several habits in one and it brings me closer to the ideal self I have been working on.
What is Ideal self? Well you'll have to come back for the next blog post to learn more about that.
