IDEAL SELF VS TRUE SELF.

The true war inside our heads and body, the question of “is this really me?” read on to find out more.

My garden is my happy spot. (Fall 2024. pumpkin plant.)

Who are you? Beyond the surface, who are you really? I’m reminded of Moana and  her grandma's words when she is all alone in the middle of the ocean on her quest “You've come so far. Moana, do you know who you are?” This even reminds me of the Caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland and his question of “Who Are You?” His words emphasized with magic glittering smoke to make you really aware of what he said so you listen to his words. 

This question is more than “Who Are You?” This question runs deep as I read it, and ask myself that very question as I write this. I am thankful that this question came up in a journal prompt and as a  gratefulness prompt, asking the further question of what about you are you thankful for or about. When someone asks me I usually say “I’m a hard worker” or “I am a busy mom and wife” but sometimes the person asks a follow up of “but other than that” Which gets me thinking? Who Am I? Who is my true self, I feel like sometimes in life we try our hardest to be our ideal self. You know the ideal self that goes to the gym, that does the meal prep every week, who has perfect credit and volunteers every week. As opposed to the real self of the person that may be struggling hard in every aspect, can't get the money for a gym membership and usually doesn't even have enough money to buy the basic food let alone the fancy food (organic, etc.)

How does this tie into Ideal self?

Your ideal self is just that, the way you see yourself ideally. Like for me, one aspect of my ideal self is that I get to spend ample time with my family whereas my true self spends roughly 52-60 hours a week out of my house away from my family because I work full time outside the house. So one way to fix that is to become a better business owner. I have the tools and the resources to apply (like writing to you my dear friends)  but when my day is over, I just want to sit down and relax. Yes, with my family. My evenings are currently a mix of jamming all I can into the 3 hours before absolutely falling asleep on the recliner chair, this includes dinner and such. So how do I fix this?

 Well I look at the things Ideal me and True me have in common, for starters I have me. My setbacks are that I have chronic illnesses, so once I get comfy (sometimes before I start to get tired) so that when I sit down my aches and pains really intensify so much that it takes sometimes an hour to really relax. In that time my kids will usually do some dance exercises videos on YouTube and I am the master song picker because having two kids and picking songs has to be very even, its just easier this way. So I have started to pick at least two songs I enjoy (I found a channel on YouTube that does early 2000s pop punk, think Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy) so if I can dance with them it checks two boxes off my ideal self list: 1) spending time with my family and 2) being more active for my family. I have been told movement is good for my arthritis and it really does feel good when you keep it up just like my therapist told me. So I also do my physical therapy stretches with them at the park because of the free equipment that just works. 

As for my business I have started to do more of the Ideal morning routine when I’m home and try to use the pomodoro method as much as I can, for anyone wondering what the pomodoro method is, its when you set a timer for 20 minutes then after it goes off take a break for 5 minutes. Then do it again. So you're working in short bursts that prevent you from losing your train of thought for the task at hand. I have also started to listen to audio books instead of listening to YouTube videos in the morning or when I'm doing business work, since I will start to listen to a short video then just let random videos from my subscribed list play from that point on. When it comes to audio books these are books that will help me with my larger goals. I am currently listening to Atomic Habits and it actually helped me in this blog post. It's what got me to think of my ideal self. Many of you know I do bullet journaling but I still feel like I accomplished nothing, especially the days I work out of the house. 

Thanks to this book I have started to see where I can “habit stack.” That is in a nutshell, what I have been doing with my mornings. Something ideal me is good at not doing is doom scrolling, actually putting the phone down and living in the moment. Real me gets very lost in the scroll, I can take my phone out to check it when I have a minute but then still sit on it for the next 5 minutes or more. 

How do you know the difference between true self and ideal self? And how do you start to become your ideal self? Well, let's do the original prompt. Go ahead and write down 6 things about yourself that come to mind when you first think of this question. Next, do the same 6 things but with what you want to be or do. As an example earlier I said my true self has pain but my ideal self is active, or that my ideal self spends time with family and my true self barely has the time to do so.

Once you have these two sets of 6 things I want you to compare them, I want you to look at your ideal list as something that is possible. So if one thing is money that is keeping you from living your best life, I want you to look at your true self to find out how you can get that money. Maybe you have a chip habit or an energy drink habit. How much do you spend on those items? Are you able to cut maybe one bag of chips or one can of energy drink from your weekly budget? If so how much will that save you? It doesn't seem like much but even if it's just $2 a week that's $104 in 52 weeks or one year. That's $104 that can go towards something your ideal self has that true self wants. 

My Real Self VS My Ideal Self.

I want you to think long and hard about your true self and your ideal self, what about your true self is already your ideal self. Did you suffer before from chronic pain and now you have a better control over that pain so you can better enjoy your day, something that maybe you haven't always been able to do. Remember every habit, positive or negative, has been reinforced by us. It's not to far fetched to say that in a year you can change your life, after all a habit is developed when you do it for at least 30 days. After that it becomes more automatic. After 90 days it's hard to go back, especially if it's something negative like a junk food stop on the way home from work. 

I want you to take your list and keep it somewhere that you can see it. Maybe the fridge, maybe on your vision board or maybe on your phone, just somewhere that you can see and remind yourself what your goal is. In this case the goal is your ideal self. The one who eats better, takes walks with your family and has a new outlook on life. If your looking for someone to be in your corner and to help you stay on track i’d love to be that person with a coaching plan, in 6 weeks we can be closer to reaching your goal or in 6 weeks you can make that goal. It's up to you. During our coaching calls we will go over goals, and more. 

Go to the SERVICES Tab and schedule a call. Talk with you all soon.